Mission Call!!!

This is the moment you all have been waiting for! Well, it is the moment I have been anxiously counting down to at least. I had tons of people guessing where I would go, but no one got it right. I was utterly shocked when I found out. This place didn't even cross my mind. And where might this amazing place be? I am going to the Stockholm Sweden Mission!!!!

Originally the letter said I was leaving to the MTC Oct 27th. I figured 2 months wasn't too bad. I would get to visit Kalli in Tennessee for 2 weeks after my week long road trip with Anneliesa to California and then maybe visit Logan for a week at the end of Sept and that gave me a good month to get ready at my own pace. I guess I was wrong because the Stake President called up my mom today to tell her that my date on my letter was a mistake. I then had to choose between leaving December 29th or September 29th. Most people think December because I would get to spend Christmas with my family and I wouldn't be so rushed to get ready, but honestly, I DON'T want to wait that long. I want to get out and serve! So I might miss a couple Christmases with my family. I had already come that conclusion and felt at peace with it. Besides, the idea of 2 Christmases in Sweden sounds amazing! So I chose Sept 29th. Yes, I am still visiting my sister in Tennessee... the tickets were non-refundable. So that gives me 2 weeks to get ready... can I do it? I think so. Pray for me! I have lots to do it, but I honestly believe I can. I am needed out there and don't want to put any delay on doing so.

Sweden will be amazing! I decided to do a little research so I know exactly what to expect when I leave the MTC with as much Swedish learned possible in 2 or so months. I found out they are the 2nd most heavy Coffee drinkers in the world. You always seem to find bread, cheese, potatoes, and pork at almost every meal. And it is normal to have sweets available at all times. I hope I don't gain weight.... :S On the plus side, they eat smaller portions and work out more than Americans (according to Wikipedia). Here are some fun random facts: you can't turn right at a red light, the sun rises at 3:30 during the summer and sets at 3:30 during the winter (brrrr), Recycling is taken so seriously they have camera's watching you to make sure it is done properly, on Easter they go trick-or-treating, Sweden is considered the leader in Gender equality, most people in Sweden wear hats with propellers on them (AWESOME!), people go sun crazy wearing bikinis and swim suits and such to get tan when it is only 10 degrees Celsius.. apparently if you don't get some sun you are considered a nerd or sick(crazy people), etc. Well, it looks like I have lots to look forward to. This will be an amazing 18 months!!! :D

Farewell Forever!

How do I summarize my past 3 summers in Idaho? Lonely, boring yet dramatic, self discovery, the best and the worst, claustrophobic, etc. And now that I leave forever tomorrow after I get off work, I am not going to miss this retched town one little bit. Good riddance, farewell, adios, goodbye, ciao, au revoir, sayonara!

I won't miss the rumors. I won't miss the farmboy tough guy attitude all the guys seem to have. I won't miss the stupid Idaho wind. I won't miss having nothing to do... ever.. unless you know someone with a boat. I won't miss the farm smell that lingers everywhere you go. I won't miss a single person here... because no one freakin realizes I exsist outside of singles activities. I won't miss how judgemental people are. I won't miss how expensive it is to visit my real friends in Utah. I won't miss going on work trips every other week. Yes, I made some good memories... and some friends along with those. But the thing is... I don't even talk to them anymore. My 2 friends I made my first summer didn't talk to me when I returned the next year. My friends I made my second summer stopped talking to me when I broke up with my ex which makes me feel like they were never really my friends to begin with. And now the only people I have become friends with this summer are ironically, the ones who moved here from Utah; yet I doubt I will even keep in touch with them. I never want to visit or even speak of this place again. I am done with it all and putting it behind me. What good are these happy memories if these people aren't even a part of your life anymore.

In fact, I am going on a mission soon and plan on saying farewell to a lot more than just a stupid small town in Idaho. These "so called friends" exsist everywhere. In fact, I admit to having been that "so called friend" before that stopped caring about being a part of someone's life. I don't know where I am going with this, but I am saying goodbye to everyone I met at college. I don't plan on you being around when I come home. If you are, great! We'll catch up. If not, good luck with life. Goodbye Corey, you were the one friend I had in my major and now you are getting married. Goodbye Brittnie, you were a great roommate, but I am just invisible everytime you get in another relationship. Goodbye Scott, you were the best boyfriend I have ever had and whoever you end up with will be the luckiest girl in the world. Goodbye all! People move on whether you want them to or not. My big group I had at the beginning of college has all moved on... 2 moved to provo (Nancy and Stacy), 1 to Virginia (Shadie), another joined the sorority (Ashley) and other friends I have made just stink at keeping in contact with me (*cough* Matt *cough*). So goodbye for the billionth time. I will not miss you.

Of coarse I will miss some people, but those are few. There is Anneliesa who is my best friend in the whole wide world! She always is there for me, calls me almost daily, and I have an unspoken bond with that we will have for eternity. There is Amy who gives the best advice and she always knows what to say to lift me up spiritually. There is Katrina who I have known since I was born, and although she is married, we will always be friends forever! And my family will always be there. Without these amazing people, I would be lost. I love them with all of my heart!

The Ugly Truth

The truth can be an ugly thing but so can gossip.... those evil words that people spread and others believe to be true. I have had 1 too many rumors about me lately up in this small town in Idaho. I hate it!  I had always heard that about small towns, but to actually be a part of it is not something I ever thought would happen to me. Too late... I have a reputation now that was forced upon me and I just want to get out of Idaho.

What is this reputation? Well, all these rumors about me are from last summer that I didn't know exsisted until a few weeks ago. One came from the army guy I dated for a month. I thought he was a great guy... I never did anything to make him dislike me I don't think. I thought we were still friends because I say friendly hellos and such at singles ward activities when I see him. We don't hang out or talk on the phone or anything, but I honestly thought he was a great guy. Well, he told my friend (who he didn't know was my friend) that I stalk him and don't stop texting him and calling him and he thinks I am obsesive and annoying. Does that even sound like me? ugh.. it explains why all the guys who are his friends don't even talk to me/ avoid me. Oh well... I could survive with this rumor.

Then a few days ago I was at the house of a guy I just met. He was pretty awesome... and the first guy I have liked in Idaho this summer when I find out his uncle's (who he is living with) sister was the best friend of the lady I have lived with the past 2 summers. Her and I never got along because I always felt like she was judging me, but I didn't think it was that bad. She had told this guy I liked along with who knows who else that I am a "skank" and she is pretty sure I slept with guys while I lived with her friend or whatever. Let me correct this... FALSE! Yes, I date around a lot... sure I even cuddle with guys easily, but I have NEVER slept with anyone! I am a virgin and proud of it baby! And this "skank" attitude she talks about was last summer when I went dating crazy for the first time in over a year and a half... I had a lot of pent up dating cravings... haha. It was also a phase that many people go through... I rarely date anymore and I don't want people to get the wrong idea.

Now that I have straightened out these ridiculous rumors, I would also like to address another ugly truth... Logan used me. I haven't talked to the guy in a month at least and he calls me up yesterday and admits he used me, says sorry, tells me he is no longer going on a mission because he doesn't feel it is right, and he is back together with his ex Amanda who he has been waiting for to return from California and meanwhile he used me because she wasn't there, but it is "okay" because she made out with a guy while she was gone too. He has hurt me more than any guy I have ever met! Just 2 months ago he was telling me how he still loved me and didn't want me to get over him and he would marry me if he could. RETARD! I don't trust him or any other stupid guy out there! I wish he hadn't called me... I wish I had never become attached to the guy... I wish a lot of things. But all I can do now is look to the future...

My bright wonderful future consists of me moving out of Idaho forever and never returning, going on a road trip with my best friend Anneliesa to California and visiting one of my other super good friends Candi, then the Tuesday after I get back from that week long trip, I get on an airplane to Tennessee to visit my sister Kalli for 2 weeks! Meanwhile, I will be preparing for a wonderful mission where I can become a tool in God's hand to help him spread his gospel that has given me more joy than I have ever known!  I can't wait! All this trouble right now is Satan throwing everything he can find at me to make me miserable, but I can get through it! I know I can! Well, I hope you enjoyed my dramatic life!!