The Ugly Truth

The truth can be an ugly thing but so can gossip.... those evil words that people spread and others believe to be true. I have had 1 too many rumors about me lately up in this small town in Idaho. I hate it!  I had always heard that about small towns, but to actually be a part of it is not something I ever thought would happen to me. Too late... I have a reputation now that was forced upon me and I just want to get out of Idaho.

What is this reputation? Well, all these rumors about me are from last summer that I didn't know exsisted until a few weeks ago. One came from the army guy I dated for a month. I thought he was a great guy... I never did anything to make him dislike me I don't think. I thought we were still friends because I say friendly hellos and such at singles ward activities when I see him. We don't hang out or talk on the phone or anything, but I honestly thought he was a great guy. Well, he told my friend (who he didn't know was my friend) that I stalk him and don't stop texting him and calling him and he thinks I am obsesive and annoying. Does that even sound like me? ugh.. it explains why all the guys who are his friends don't even talk to me/ avoid me. Oh well... I could survive with this rumor.

Then a few days ago I was at the house of a guy I just met. He was pretty awesome... and the first guy I have liked in Idaho this summer when I find out his uncle's (who he is living with) sister was the best friend of the lady I have lived with the past 2 summers. Her and I never got along because I always felt like she was judging me, but I didn't think it was that bad. She had told this guy I liked along with who knows who else that I am a "skank" and she is pretty sure I slept with guys while I lived with her friend or whatever. Let me correct this... FALSE! Yes, I date around a lot... sure I even cuddle with guys easily, but I have NEVER slept with anyone! I am a virgin and proud of it baby! And this "skank" attitude she talks about was last summer when I went dating crazy for the first time in over a year and a half... I had a lot of pent up dating cravings... haha. It was also a phase that many people go through... I rarely date anymore and I don't want people to get the wrong idea.

Now that I have straightened out these ridiculous rumors, I would also like to address another ugly truth... Logan used me. I haven't talked to the guy in a month at least and he calls me up yesterday and admits he used me, says sorry, tells me he is no longer going on a mission because he doesn't feel it is right, and he is back together with his ex Amanda who he has been waiting for to return from California and meanwhile he used me because she wasn't there, but it is "okay" because she made out with a guy while she was gone too. He has hurt me more than any guy I have ever met! Just 2 months ago he was telling me how he still loved me and didn't want me to get over him and he would marry me if he could. RETARD! I don't trust him or any other stupid guy out there! I wish he hadn't called me... I wish I had never become attached to the guy... I wish a lot of things. But all I can do now is look to the future...

My bright wonderful future consists of me moving out of Idaho forever and never returning, going on a road trip with my best friend Anneliesa to California and visiting one of my other super good friends Candi, then the Tuesday after I get back from that week long trip, I get on an airplane to Tennessee to visit my sister Kalli for 2 weeks! Meanwhile, I will be preparing for a wonderful mission where I can become a tool in God's hand to help him spread his gospel that has given me more joy than I have ever known!  I can't wait! All this trouble right now is Satan throwing everything he can find at me to make me miserable, but I can get through it! I know I can! Well, I hope you enjoyed my dramatic life!!