"Singles" Wards

I always loved singles ward up at college and whenever someone told me how much they disliked them,I never understood why... until now. What is the difference? Is it because I served a mission? Or maybe the ward members? Or maybe the location of the ward. Either way, I am not a fan of them at all.

Singles Ward Observations:

Girls try to hard to impress the guys, there are too many "on my mission..." stories, reverence at in the sacrament room is very limited before the meeting begins, and the mention of dating and getting married is brought into every lesson and opportunity available.

Family Ward Observations:

The women don't care as much about themselves but care more about those around them, in the lessons everyone draws off of current real life situations we all relate to, besides the kids that like to play in the seats, each parent is attentively listening and there to learn, and the gospel principles are the only thing taught within all the lessons.

Okay, so maybe I am over-exaggerating, but honestly, I would much rather attend a family ward than my singles ward. I don't fit in there anymore. The reason I say this is because your ward is supposed to be a family, right? You take care for each other and watch over each other. Not in a singles ward. How many girls in my Relief Society even notice me? There is not very much relief for me there. I wanted to change that. I tried to get to know the girls. I threw a party just for them so I could sincerely learn about all of these amazing daughters of God. I wrote out invitations, asked around to see when would be good, etc. I picked a day that I know I least 7 girls said for sure they would be able to make it. I bought refreshments, decorated, etc. I was so excited to finally make some progress in the ward. The time comes... no one is here. It is Mormon standard time, right? I am sure they will come. 1.5 hours come and even those who texted they would be late do not show up. I guess there is a reason it is called a "singles" ward. Family does not exist there... at least not as far as I can see. The frustrating part of this all is how much it bothers me. I want friends in my ward, I want to feel important and needed and wanted at church. Since I have been home, there have been no visiting teachers or home teachers. Nothing. People only come to find a husband and move on with their lives.

For all you single people reading this, take some time to think. How many people do you remember from your past singles wards? How many of those people do you keep in touch with? How often do you put on a smiling face to say "Hello, how are you?" and really want to know how that person is doing? When I ask, "how are you?" I mean it.... or I try to. I love it when people are honest and tell me about their week and share with me what brought them joy or happiness.

To complete the circle, I will go back to the difference between my ward now compared to my college ward. My ward in Logan was amazing. We were all friends with each other. Half of us who went there lived outside the boundaries, but we refused to leave because we felt like family and belonged there. If I missed a single day of church, someone noticed and would give me a call to see if I was okay. I loved it. I miss it. I learned a great deal about reaching out and loving everyone around me. I pray that each ward can get over their difference and spread the love of God to those around them.