Epiphony about Drama

So I had an epiphony while driving the other day. A song inspired it... I don't know which one though. Anyway, I realized why there is so much drama with a lot of people. In the song it mentioned how you love someone so much, but when you don't feel loved by that person you fill in that void with other emotions which tend to be negative. And why would you want to fill it with those emotions? Well, because part of you WANTS to feel something from that person and since you can't get love, you settle for anything that comes to mind. So in all reality, if you find people that have emotionally hurt you, it is because you really care about what they think and that person means more to you than you even know. And this can be applied to any relationship... whether it is family, friends, or someone you like(ed). Which to me explains why I had such hard feelings towards my dad... because I haven't felt loved for 8 years, and now that is changing. :) And it also explains why I have trouble getting over some ex relationships... because even after breaking up, I want to feel something from them and this results in drama.

So if we don't want drama in our life, we need to come to terms with not feeling loved... which I have done. Over a week ago I completely stopped talking to my ex. Aren't you proud of me? haha.. some might think I will crack and wont be able to do it, but I feel so at peace with this choice for the first time. I don't want to date him anymore and I don't want to be a part of his family even though they are amazing people. And I am happy! :) Also, I saw my "unexpected" guy, who is in Vegas this summer, on Friday and guess what? I didn't want to be with him either! It is such a relief to have closure like this.

Life is great right now! I saw my bestest friend Anneliesa this last weekend and she sure filled my happy cup up, I have made my friendships with my best guyfriend Matt better, the guy I waited for on his mission (Scott) and I are still friends and I feel completely content with it, I am over guys, and I am going on a mission! Also, my birthday is this Thursday, I am going on a road trip with Anneliesa on Aug 20th, and I will be living with my sister Kalli starting Sept. 12th-ish. I have lots to look forward to! :)